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S1E13 – Learn English with Crazy Stories – I Lost 50% of My Body Weight

Learn English with Crazy Stories

She was addicted to food.
One day after an accident in the kitchen she realised that she had to do something to lose weight!
After trying many different diets, she found the ultimate way to lose weight!

See the podcast notes on how to learn with the podcast.

I lost 50% of my body fat in 6 months.
By Sara Geanemen.
This may or may not be a true story.
I never believed in myself growing-up. I was always sad. At school, I was always last. I was always last being picked to play football. I was always last to finish lunch (although I was first at finishing everything, I even ate the paper napkins). That was 10 years ago.
It wasn’t until last year that I realized I was depressed and my obesity was a danger to my health. One day, I was in the kitchen as usual making desserts. I was actually making some strawberry jelly when I realized that it moved and wobbled in the same way as my belly. The jelly was me, I was the jelly. I was hungry, so I decided to eat it anyway. However, I had left last night’s Pizza box on the floor. I didn’t see it and I slipped and fell. The jelly fell.
The jelly hit the floor at the same time as me. It exploded like a bomb. The fat from my stomach hit the floor and exploded like a bomb too. That was the moment. I am the jelly. That jelly is me. It was time to do something about it.
I started to throw all the processed food out of the window in a fit of rage. These evil foods had been stopping me, stopping my life. After 30 minutes, I stopped. My cupboards were empty. My fridge was empty. Empty except for one thing; a bottle of a cold and transparent liquid that I had put in the fridge several years ago. I decided to try it. It tasted so refreshing. It was water, unfortunately, I had left the top off, so bacteria had entered and there was a layer of mould on the top. But I didn’t mind. That was my water. That was me being reborn. Although, I did spend the next few hours vomiting probably because of the bacteria that had grown around the top.
The next day, I looked out of my window to see where I had thrown all my old food when I realized that I live in a flat and have neighbours below me. They have a garden and dogs. Luckily, all the food was gone; it looked like their dogs had eaten it. Surely, eating so much processed food wouldn’t affect their dogs, would it?
I spent the next few weeks trying different exercises and different diets. But nothing worked. Nothing felt good for me. There must be another way to lose fat, mustn’t there?
One day, I was walking through the park and almost ready to give up when I saw a dog. It had three legs, so when it walked it had to hop with its only front leg. You would think that a dog with three legs would give up and rest a lot, but it was running. It was hopping and the dog was thin. This was my way to lose weight! I could be that dog!
So, I decided to become that dog, literally! I went to the fancy dress shop and I bought a dog outfit, complete with dog ears and a dog nose. I got home and put the outfit on. I wasn’t me anymore. I was a dog. I called myself Fido. When I wore that dog outfit I started to exercise. Unfortunately, my flat is quite small so I didn’t have enough room to exercise. Also, I got a few complaints from my neighbours below who thought an elephant was jumping around in my flat. I told them that elephants can’t jump, they went silent and I said sorry. At that point I realised that their dog had died. I have no idea why.
I needed space. I had to go public as Fido. It was time to exercise outside. I was worried that people would laugh at me. An overweight woman dressed as a dog doing exercise… I was right. People did laugh at me. But, I carried on. Also, I sweated a lot in the costume. Eventually, people didn’t want to come near me because of the smell. The dogs did. They usually came up to me to smell me. I was one of them. Fido was a real dog!
I would run around the park and behave like an excited dog. Although, once, people did call the police when I tried to go to the toilet under a tree.
Eventually, the kilos started to fly off my body. I was losing so much weight. I was beginning to be happy as a dog and as a human. I could look at myself in the mirror. After 6 months, I decided to go and get a medical check-up. I went to the vets dressed as Fido. At first, they refused to see me. But this was a private establishment and after showing them my money, the vet came and checked-me over. The only surprise is that he insisted on taking my temperature like a dog. He then told me that magic number that I had waited for; I had lost 50% of my body fat.
Since that day, I see myself as a beautiful woman. Although, I continue to dress as Fido twice a week. I then go and visit my neighbours downstairs and play in their garden. They do like having a dog in the garden again.

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